Oh this story. That photo. This will haunt me forever, in a good, uneasy way. The way all natural, innocent death lives in me, part of the earth’s way, but still cruel and aching in my heart. ❤️💔
Dec 17, 2023·edited Dec 17, 2023Liked by Susie Mawhinney
Oh god, just too sad. Thoughts of that little fox all alone. 😢
"One runs the risk of weeping a little, if one let's oneself be tamed...."
I weep a lot these days. So many things touch me - baby foxes dying on their own, (we don't have foxes in New Zealand and I always found them intriguing and beautiful when I caught a glimpse of one whilst living in England), children playing, my cat meditating in the morning sunshine perched on her wooden stool, pink sunsets like the one I watch right now that has already had me reaching for the tissues before I read your post.
I am so grateful for the ability to feel. I spent a long time numbing. To feel is life itself in all it's heartbreak and beauty.
I could read your writing for hours Susie. You are just delicious. Thank you so much. Jo 💚
Ah yes and the owl feather..... a beautiful touch. Magical. The wise one....
That is the loveliest comment Jo,🥹 thank you so much…
Huge huge apologies for such a late reply, this last week of classes has been hell, classes of kids coupled with a bout of insomnia, have made me cry often too…and the worst, (tomorrow) is yet to come! One of the teachers I work with, in her infinite wisdom, decided that the last day of classes before Christmas should be spent doing something different. So, tomorrow we have the pleasure of spending the morning in a cinema watching cartoons and the afternoon at the trampoline halls. Our class is 27 kids between the ages of 7 and 8 ! Class outings are always nightmare of the grandest size but 27 kids on trampolines, can you imagine? It is making me tremble just at the thought! And worse, my college, who has already had the displeasure of such a day (twice) said both times, they had to call an ambulance! I am dreading it!
I understand completely your tears, I think when we think too deeply about life, love and all that is good in the world it will make us cry just as much as all that is bad, honestly, I try so hard not to think about the bad these days for fear of running out of tears….
Sometimes, the numbness is a blessing….
Today is the last day of our spin around the sun if the year… my favorite day of the year!
I hope yours is glorious lovely lady, sending love and rather murky hugs from my tiny corner of France… xxxx
Such a sad story, but it is of course the kind of decisions all Mothers (of all kinds) make and have made since the beginning of time. Your part in it is so touching. And the connection to owls, OMG, I love owls! 🦉
Huge thanks Debs, it was even sadder than you can imagine for me, ever since I was a young girl I’ve wanted a pet fox, or at least one that trusted me and that I could feed with my own hands… when I saw this little mite curled up in the flora I thought, having waited all my life for it to happen, that this was to be my little fox… 💔
Happy Friday lovely, I hope your new job is going well xxx
It was even more heartbreaking than you know Roselle, ever since I was a young girl I’ve wanted a pet fox, or at least one that trusted me and that I could feed with my own hands… when I saw this little mite curled up in the flora I thought, having waited all my life for it to happen, that this was to be my little fox… 💔
Beautiful nature notes and two great shares. ‘Goshawk Summer’ sounds like my sort of read. Have you read ‘Deep Country’ by Neil Ansell? I suspect you’d enjoy it.
Ah, glad I am consistent with my recommendations ... honestly, it's a blissful read. And that is a great reminder about 'The Running Hare'. I feel my 2024 list growing. But first, Wolf Hall!
Yes!! Except I’ve just picked up A Children’s Story by A Byatt and I’m already under the spell of her magnificent writing also I studiously ignored the next two Mantel in the Wolf Hall trilogy yesterday due a rather jaw dropping price, much as I love and try hard to support small businesses sadly my BA has its limits!
Thank you Barrie, I fear you’d be bored very quickly since it is rare for me to pick up historical fiction, The Children’s Book... (book not story as above) ahhhh, such writing is hard to ignore.
It is rare for me to read historical fiction hence giving it a go with Simon's tutelage. Thrillers are my go to 'easy read' and I am trying to read more (what I call) 'learny' books to broaden my knowledge.
What a heartbreaking sight, I’m sure. Little ones (humans and creatures alike!) are so vulnerable and innocent, it feels unbearable to see their lives ending so soon. When I was young, we had a cat go e birth to two kittens but refuse to nurse them. We tried bottle feeding them but couldn’t save them. It was so confusing to me then and something I still don’t quite understand- how some life, perfectly formed can be so brief. Perhaps it is this feeling of briefness that haunts us all, captured so undeniably in the loss of young life.
Thank you for telling you sad story Mariah, I too have many more such sad sad tales, each and every one as hard as the next to understand and accept.
Having lived, in one way or another with animals of various types through my whole farming life I have cried tears of utter sadness so often. There is not words to describe the feeling when the last beat of a heart fades from a tiny furry form in our hands... the knowledge of failure weighs heavy in our hearts and souls. But, and it is a big but, I think we have to accept that despite all efforts, some tiny beings were just meant for another place in the universe, perhaps it’s simply that they were never meant be here in the first place... I cling to this. ♥️
Decisions made by Mothers in order to survive can seem cruel at times, yet necessary for the remaining members of her family to endure. I believe the owl was an Angel protecting the dear fox until a like minded Being of Light , like yourself, performed the final rite of its earthly body.
Have you heard the quote "When angels are near feathers appear"? It's a sign that they're near, offering their love, guidance and support. I believe you were chosen for your purity of spirit to lay to rest the wee fox, only to be done with the understanding of a Mother. What a precious moment for all! Love n Light dear Susie!
Oh my Sonya, you made tears in my eyes with your beautiful reply darling... I have had strange encounters with owls before, they are without a shadow of doubt one of natures most deeply spiritual animals, not called wise owls of course, for no reason... but I think their wisdom travels deeper than we humans know, it cannot be a coincidence to encounter fox and owl
together, not just then, but often - we must speak of this next time we talk.
I have heard that expression, though how strange I didn’t link it... the angel that night made beautiful work of her protective nature... little fox was peaceful - thank you always for your love and light also darling..♥️xxx
What a beautifully poignant story, Susie! I feel like Owl and Fox were interwoven that night and you were blessed with a feather of gratitude for your kindness with the cub. Having recently written about The Monarch archetype, I can't help but see that pattern with the vixen in your tale. She had to make a very difficult decision for the benefit of the group. She's a true queen, that one.
Thank you Jenna, I hadn’t made the connection to The Monarch Archetype but yes... the vixen was a true and faithful queen, not only to her brood but to the cycle of nature which, of course, she knows so well...
It is quite strange how often I wander in those gloaming hours and encounter fox and owl together. I’m certain there is a stronger connection between these two animals than we humans have yet discovered, a bond of hunter survival tactics... we could learn much from them!
Susie - thanks for sharing this story. Even sad stories can be beautiful in their own way. These winter months compel me to recollect many of my own sad stories but they are a part of the pattern that is me. Wishing you all the best for the holiday season.
Thank you Matthew, I think we have to banish our sensitivities when faced with such sweet sadnesses as these, after all, they happen often out in the wild and it seems unjust to be sad for one and not every other creature that is cast out to save those stronger...
It is the way of nature of which we are but a small part, though perhaps the part that is more likely to collect and keep the stories, therefore, if we are true to her calling and needs, important....
I wish you too a peaceful holiday season, hopefully wrapped within the arms and love of your family and friends... as it should be.
You have transported us from this December morning to a summer's night. What a sad story. I was sent Goshawk Summer but gave it to my dad, as I think it is more his thing. My parents have a smallholding in Wales, there own little hill with a wood.
It is an enchanting book, perhaps not of any literary importance but a lovely read and informative... I learnt a new word which of course now that I want to write it down and I’m sitting in a train, which is such a terribly rare thing for me, without the book, I have forgotten it entirely... the page is marked... it will wait...
Here we woke to a thick fog which is lingering... summer days such as that one in May seem far away but I know they’re not, not really...
Oh this story. That photo. This will haunt me forever, in a good, uneasy way. The way all natural, innocent death lives in me, part of the earth’s way, but still cruel and aching in my heart. ❤️💔
i'll dance and sing with you, Susie ✨🙏🏼
Thank you Darren, I accept with pleasure.🙏🏽💫
love this, what a beautiful moment captured
Many thanks Deirdre... it was sad and beautiful too...
Oh god, just too sad. Thoughts of that little fox all alone. 😢
"One runs the risk of weeping a little, if one let's oneself be tamed...."
I weep a lot these days. So many things touch me - baby foxes dying on their own, (we don't have foxes in New Zealand and I always found them intriguing and beautiful when I caught a glimpse of one whilst living in England), children playing, my cat meditating in the morning sunshine perched on her wooden stool, pink sunsets like the one I watch right now that has already had me reaching for the tissues before I read your post.
I am so grateful for the ability to feel. I spent a long time numbing. To feel is life itself in all it's heartbreak and beauty.
I could read your writing for hours Susie. You are just delicious. Thank you so much. Jo 💚
Ah yes and the owl feather..... a beautiful touch. Magical. The wise one....
That is the loveliest comment Jo,🥹 thank you so much…
Huge huge apologies for such a late reply, this last week of classes has been hell, classes of kids coupled with a bout of insomnia, have made me cry often too…and the worst, (tomorrow) is yet to come! One of the teachers I work with, in her infinite wisdom, decided that the last day of classes before Christmas should be spent doing something different. So, tomorrow we have the pleasure of spending the morning in a cinema watching cartoons and the afternoon at the trampoline halls. Our class is 27 kids between the ages of 7 and 8 ! Class outings are always nightmare of the grandest size but 27 kids on trampolines, can you imagine? It is making me tremble just at the thought! And worse, my college, who has already had the displeasure of such a day (twice) said both times, they had to call an ambulance! I am dreading it!
I understand completely your tears, I think when we think too deeply about life, love and all that is good in the world it will make us cry just as much as all that is bad, honestly, I try so hard not to think about the bad these days for fear of running out of tears….
Sometimes, the numbness is a blessing….
Today is the last day of our spin around the sun if the year… my favorite day of the year!
I hope yours is glorious lovely lady, sending love and rather murky hugs from my tiny corner of France… xxxx
I hope no ambulance was needed. Perhaps you even had a bounce.... 😊 x
Such a sad story, but it is of course the kind of decisions all Mothers (of all kinds) make and have made since the beginning of time. Your part in it is so touching. And the connection to owls, OMG, I love owls! 🦉
Huge thanks Debs, it was even sadder than you can imagine for me, ever since I was a young girl I’ve wanted a pet fox, or at least one that trusted me and that I could feed with my own hands… when I saw this little mite curled up in the flora I thought, having waited all my life for it to happen, that this was to be my little fox… 💔
Happy Friday lovely, I hope your new job is going well xxx
Heartbreaking and beautiful, Susie.
It was even more heartbreaking than you know Roselle, ever since I was a young girl I’ve wanted a pet fox, or at least one that trusted me and that I could feed with my own hands… when I saw this little mite curled up in the flora I thought, having waited all my life for it to happen, that this was to be my little fox… 💔
Enjoy the last spin of the seasonal year xxx
Eek... sorry, the signal in the train keeps fading and in my hurry to reply before the next black spot, I forgot my thanks...
Beautiful nature notes and two great shares. ‘Goshawk Summer’ sounds like my sort of read. Have you read ‘Deep Country’ by Neil Ansell? I suspect you’d enjoy it.
A Goshawk Summer is a quick and easy read, unputdownable! I read it in three evenings through a long weekend I think...
You’ve mentioned Deep Country to me before Barrie, I now have it in a to read pile along with John Stemple’s The Running Hare...
Ah, glad I am consistent with my recommendations ... honestly, it's a blissful read. And that is a great reminder about 'The Running Hare'. I feel my 2024 list growing. But first, Wolf Hall!
Yes!! Except I’ve just picked up A Children’s Story by A Byatt and I’m already under the spell of her magnificent writing also I studiously ignored the next two Mantel in the Wolf Hall trilogy yesterday due a rather jaw dropping price, much as I love and try hard to support small businesses sadly my BA has its limits!
One Wolf Hall at a time! Looks like I'll be picking up my recommendations from you from now on in!
Thank you Barrie, I fear you’d be bored very quickly since it is rare for me to pick up historical fiction, The Children’s Book... (book not story as above) ahhhh, such writing is hard to ignore.
It is rare for me to read historical fiction hence giving it a go with Simon's tutelage. Thrillers are my go to 'easy read' and I am trying to read more (what I call) 'learny' books to broaden my knowledge.
It must not have been an easy decision for her. I would have bawled.
I cannot even begin to think of even having to make such a decision Lisha... to bawl would not even be close to my distress...!
You're right.
What a heartbreaking sight, I’m sure. Little ones (humans and creatures alike!) are so vulnerable and innocent, it feels unbearable to see their lives ending so soon. When I was young, we had a cat go e birth to two kittens but refuse to nurse them. We tried bottle feeding them but couldn’t save them. It was so confusing to me then and something I still don’t quite understand- how some life, perfectly formed can be so brief. Perhaps it is this feeling of briefness that haunts us all, captured so undeniably in the loss of young life.
Thank you for telling you sad story Mariah, I too have many more such sad sad tales, each and every one as hard as the next to understand and accept.
Having lived, in one way or another with animals of various types through my whole farming life I have cried tears of utter sadness so often. There is not words to describe the feeling when the last beat of a heart fades from a tiny furry form in our hands... the knowledge of failure weighs heavy in our hearts and souls. But, and it is a big but, I think we have to accept that despite all efforts, some tiny beings were just meant for another place in the universe, perhaps it’s simply that they were never meant be here in the first place... I cling to this. ♥️
Decisions made by Mothers in order to survive can seem cruel at times, yet necessary for the remaining members of her family to endure. I believe the owl was an Angel protecting the dear fox until a like minded Being of Light , like yourself, performed the final rite of its earthly body.
Have you heard the quote "When angels are near feathers appear"? It's a sign that they're near, offering their love, guidance and support. I believe you were chosen for your purity of spirit to lay to rest the wee fox, only to be done with the understanding of a Mother. What a precious moment for all! Love n Light dear Susie!
Oh my Sonya, you made tears in my eyes with your beautiful reply darling... I have had strange encounters with owls before, they are without a shadow of doubt one of natures most deeply spiritual animals, not called wise owls of course, for no reason... but I think their wisdom travels deeper than we humans know, it cannot be a coincidence to encounter fox and owl
together, not just then, but often - we must speak of this next time we talk.
I have heard that expression, though how strange I didn’t link it... the angel that night made beautiful work of her protective nature... little fox was peaceful - thank you always for your love and light also darling..♥️xxx
Always in my heart ♥️
What a beautifully poignant story, Susie! I feel like Owl and Fox were interwoven that night and you were blessed with a feather of gratitude for your kindness with the cub. Having recently written about The Monarch archetype, I can't help but see that pattern with the vixen in your tale. She had to make a very difficult decision for the benefit of the group. She's a true queen, that one.
Thank you Jenna, I hadn’t made the connection to The Monarch Archetype but yes... the vixen was a true and faithful queen, not only to her brood but to the cycle of nature which, of course, she knows so well...
It is quite strange how often I wander in those gloaming hours and encounter fox and owl together. I’m certain there is a stronger connection between these two animals than we humans have yet discovered, a bond of hunter survival tactics... we could learn much from them!
Susie - thanks for sharing this story. Even sad stories can be beautiful in their own way. These winter months compel me to recollect many of my own sad stories but they are a part of the pattern that is me. Wishing you all the best for the holiday season.
Thank you Matthew, I think we have to banish our sensitivities when faced with such sweet sadnesses as these, after all, they happen often out in the wild and it seems unjust to be sad for one and not every other creature that is cast out to save those stronger...
It is the way of nature of which we are but a small part, though perhaps the part that is more likely to collect and keep the stories, therefore, if we are true to her calling and needs, important....
I wish you too a peaceful holiday season, hopefully wrapped within the arms and love of your family and friends... as it should be.
You’re very welcome... I’ve added it to my Christmas menu..!
Thank you for including me in your newsletter. Hope you enjoy the bacon jam.
With pleasure, I will be testing out your recipe with my Christmas capon! Thank you....
You have transported us from this December morning to a summer's night. What a sad story. I was sent Goshawk Summer but gave it to my dad, as I think it is more his thing. My parents have a smallholding in Wales, there own little hill with a wood.
It is an enchanting book, perhaps not of any literary importance but a lovely read and informative... I learnt a new word which of course now that I want to write it down and I’m sitting in a train, which is such a terribly rare thing for me, without the book, I have forgotten it entirely... the page is marked... it will wait...
Here we woke to a thick fog which is lingering... summer days such as that one in May seem far away but I know they’re not, not really...