An alternative ending to Close Encounters… 100 words in the style of the great and well loved Roald Dahl… I hope I’ve done him justice!
Close encounters - The alternative ending…
Hoggy appeared in the dusky light,
terribly disheveled and a fearsome sight,
where upon he spied with glee
a lady sat quietly upon a tree.
Hoggy smiled, his belly was churning
he suddenly felt the most terrible yearning
to take revenge on every hunter (and his dog)
that took such pleasure in chasing hog
He drooled at the thought of chewing her flesh
right there and then while she was fresh!
So, without the slightest remorse at her innocence
(ignoring completely the barbed wire fence)
hoggy took off with a mighty bound
devouring her whole, right there on the ground!
Roald Dahl was undoubtedly one of the greatest authors of children’s stories in the twentieth century - I have read all his books and rhymes to both of my children and together we have seen many of the films. Who wouldn’t be delighted by The BFG and Fantastic Mr Fox, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and the Witches, Matilda and so many more?
Which was your favourite?
The Pig
In England once there lived a big
A wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
That Piggy had a massive brain.
He worked out sums inside his head,
There was no book he hadn't read.
He knew what made an airplane fly,
He knew how engines worked and why.
He knew all this, but in the end
One question drove him round the bend:
He simply couldn't puzzle out
What LIFE was really all about.
What was the reason for his birth?
Why was he placed upon this earth?
His giant brain went round and round.
Alas, no answer could be found.
Till suddenly one wondrous night.
All in a flash he saw the light.
He jumped up like a ballet dancer
And yelled, "By gum, I've got the answer!"
"They want my bacon slice by slice
"To sell at a tremendous price!
"They want my tender juicy chops
"To put in all the butcher's shops!
"They want my pork to make a roast
"And that's the part'll cost the most!
"They want my sausages in strings!
"They even want my chitterlings!
"The butcher's shop! The carving knife!
"That is the reason for my life!"
Such thoughts as these are not designed
To give a pig great peace of mind.
Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,
A pail of pigswill in his hand,
And piggy with a mighty roar,
Bashes the farmer to the floor…
Now comes the rather grizzly bit
So let's not make too much of it,
Except that you must understand
That Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,
He ate him up from head to toe,
Chewing the pieces nice and slow.
It took an hour to reach the feet,
Because there was so much to eat,
And when he finished, Pig, of course,
Felt absolutely no remorse.
Slowly he scratched his brainy head
And with a little smile he said,
"I had a fairly powerful hunch
"That he might have me for his lunch.
"And so, because I feared the worst,
"I thought I'd better eat him first."Roald Dahl
Barrie Just Write, Right a writer of wonderful fiction here on Substack is determined to promote more writers of the same genre — and rightly so — I thought I’d give him a hand!
Here are a few I’ve found for you…
Wonderful!
Love the alternative ending, very funny and Roald Dahl-ish 😁