61 Comments
Aug 14Liked by Susie Mawhinney

Love that you're off out walking with Seth and spending that time together. Special time, I'm sure.

Absolutely gorgeous photos and words as always, Susie. Plus, "leaf bokeh" made me smile. :D

Expand full comment
author

Thank You Nathan, it has indeed been special time, even if the subject matter of our conversation is somewhat limited, he has definitely a certain power of persuasion (look out girls/boys) and I am now considering changing my very standard VW Golf TDi Mk 5 of 20 years for something even older, more retro. Apparently my car is boring! If I have to have a Golf it has to be a Mk 2 - which I did in fact have back in Ireland - the car written off in this accident

https://open.substack.com/pub/ahillandi/p/the-bone?r=1mrn9s&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

"What the hell mum? " his response when I told him...

As for leaf bokeh... I am an addict! 🌿

Expand full comment
Aug 8·edited Aug 8Liked by Susie Mawhinney

I succumbed and lit the stove on a few occasions. Unlike you, we have not had a heatwave to follow the cold, just a very slight warming. It's been a pretty poor summer (except for meeting Alexander and his sister, Lydia, in person)!

Expand full comment
author

Ah Lynn there you are! I was wondering... How wonderful that must have been to actually meet Alex and Lydia - I wish I could have joined you!

Hmm, yes the weather has definitely been the fur coat and bikini type here, although it seems to have settles down in recent days - at last! I shall try to blow some your way! X

Expand full comment

Just been busy, lol, so something had to give and that thing was Substack. And now I'm recovering from Covid...finally succumbed to the blighter. Some warmth would be lovely 🙃

Meeting Alex and Lydia was lovely - we sat and blethered about all sorts of things for a couple of hours.

Expand full comment
author

Wretched virus! I’ve spoken to quite a few people that have caught a really nasty dose this summer. I hope you’re feeling better soon and life sends you calmer, warmer days! xx

Expand full comment

Dear Susie, The weather is worrisome, but I adore the walks you’re having with your son! Mine is the same age and spends his days similarly. We had a walking routine awhile back that I hope we’ll resume when the smoke from regional fires abates. The kids go back to school here in a week. Peace and glorious rambles!

Expand full comment
author

Hi Tara, My son is very/too self-contained, I barely see him until after our evening meal so I am grateful for the hour or so we spend together. I try to spend that hour teaching him the secrets of nature but invariably he manages to steer the conversation towards topics he prefers. I've learnt just about all I can stomach about classic cars and bikes, the workings, inside and out of a computer system especially - whereas I'm not certain he has digested a word I've said! I hope only that he remembers these evenings with love and a smile when he is older. I know I will.

I have another three weeks before classes begin again here which truly isn't long enough to even begin, never mind finish all the projects I had in mind for the long summer vacation., the weather has been that tricky!

Enjoy your peaceful rambles, many thanks for reading. X

Expand full comment

I’m sure his bones are listening, even if his ears are not. :-)

Expand full comment
author

Beautiful Tara - I wish I’d written that - I can only hope!

Expand full comment
Aug 4Liked by Susie Mawhinney

Sparkling photos, Susie! You accurately describe the weariness that has been in this summer season. We are over in the mid-Atlantic states of US, and the weather has flared no better. Lovely words!

Expand full comment
author

Thanks so much Ron, its been the strangest summer here, I feel a little cheated of all those anticipations at the beginning. Slowly there seems to be some normalcy appearing, but I am hesitant in believing it will last! much as I want to.. I hope your summer leaves you less weary in future weeks.

Expand full comment
Aug 3Liked by Susie Mawhinney

I dig the blurry photography!

Expand full comment
author

Yay, another blurry photo lover! I am delighted - thank you!

Expand full comment
Aug 10Liked by Susie Mawhinney

What are your thoughts on Bokeh? ;)

Expand full comment
author

I think the answer to that would depend on what type of bokeh, I can lay under a tree watching natural leaf bokeh and lose myself in a dream world of light and dark that I forget the time, the same with moving water - I love natural light like this transferred to an image, I am less enamoured with artificial light bokeh, although can see the creative side obviously.

Expand full comment
Aug 10Liked by Susie Mawhinney

Oooh nice. I can “see” that. There’s so much I don’t know about photography and I enjoy yours a lot!

Expand full comment
author

Thanks so much, I’ll tell you a secret, I don’t know the first thing about photography either, I just know what I love and I walk with my eyes open ready to capture the magic! Simple… what’s to know!

Expand full comment

Damn, that’s an eye you got! 💎

Expand full comment
Aug 2Liked by Susie Mawhinney

Susie, I melt as I read your words and soak in your STUNNING photos. It's minus four here as I write so I'm certainly not melting from heat as you are. Instead I melt into your languid musings.

How special that you can walk with your beautiful son. It must be hard for him being a teenager and not around his friends. What a gift that he chose to do daily walks with his mum. Enjoy. xx

Expand full comment
author

Bless you for such kind words Jo, I've had so little time to pick up my camera through these holidays I struggled to find anything I really loved, except perhaps the photo of my son and Sassy, so that really means the world to me. If I'm honest, I'm probably more at ease with photographic expression than I am with the written word when its me driving the tool. Perhaps its just a question of time, of which I have practically zero spare, I never thought id be considering retirement with such a smile!

I have loved and am still loving our daily walks, despite his constant chatter about old cars and bikes - I've learnt a shit load of info I'll never use - haha! I have loved every second though, I hope he remembers these days as I will, I doubt there will be too many more as he grows and spreads his wings.

I hope your weekend is warmer than -4c and cooler than 37c - I am closed indoors with a fan for company! xxx

Expand full comment
Aug 10Liked by Susie Mawhinney

Soon it will be quiet Susie and you will be back wandering the hills on your own, your son's open honest chatter still warm in your heart. Special times. Soak in them. xx

Expand full comment
author

I have a feeling I will miss him Jo, so I really hope so. xx

Expand full comment
Aug 2Liked by Susie Mawhinney

Goodbye dear July, let us not meet again under such circumstances...

Heartbreaking, yet beautiful words, Susie. 🖤

Expand full comment
author

Thank you sweet soul, August already feels like lighter days ahead… 💚

Expand full comment

Enjoy!!!

Expand full comment

You took the words right out of my mouth. We’re baking here in Japan as well. White heat is right. Take care, Susie❣️

Expand full comment
author

You too Louise, here, today at least, there is a cool breeze wafting through the house which is absolutely blissful... I will blow it your way xx

Expand full comment

Beautiful and heartbreaking dear Susie. Glad you’re reconnected and I hope the worst of the trauma and cleanup from the storm is behind. We have had overwhelming heat here, but not to the extent you have experienced, and I have been able to escape to the climate controlled office where I work for relief - but return mentally drained and fit for nothing. As I contemplate my day off today, and the week of things I wish to accomplish, I’m reminded how little control we have over how things will unfold and yet how much we expect to be able to control the unfolding. Sending love and cool breezes, from a somewhat cooler UK 💛🙈

Expand full comment
author

Thank you lovely Emily, the clean up is a work in progress but most homes are now either repaired or protected, those that were the worst hit will take months to put right sadly but the insurance companies are, for once, being sympathetic to their situations. Small mercy I know!

I so glad the intense heat has abated, I know well the feeling of utter exhaustion when returning from work and then having to cook for family, feed animals, walk the dog... one wonders how exactly we will manage but we always do.

Here we have a more normal temperature for this time of year, your cool breeze arrived and is now gently cooling the house as I type - I'm feeling as though I just might actually be on holiday at last! Much love 💚xx

Expand full comment

I’m glad the cool breezes have arrived and perhaps, with them, the holidays 💛

Expand full comment

The monkey was unintended. It was meant to be a sparkle ✨ they are next to each other in my most used emojis!! 🤣😘

Expand full comment
author

Haha, don't worry, I do that all the time! 🙈x

Expand full comment
Aug 2Liked by Susie Mawhinney

I just stumbled my way to your world. I’m grateful for the pause in such a beautiful place. Thank you.

Expand full comment
author

I am delighted at your stumbling Teyani, thank you for taking the time to stop a while on my hill.

Expand full comment
Aug 2Liked by Susie Mawhinney

The way you write is so powerful and in the case of this post, heartbreaking. If more people observed the world within their immediate gaze the way you observe your hill and write about it, we would not be in such a horrible state as a society. You have a way of laying bare all the beauty and pain that is invisible to so many who have made their lives so far away from the earth. I'm sorry it's been such a tough season and I hope your hill will enjoy some balance in the coming months. Thank you for continuing to share your writing and your gorgeous photographs.

Expand full comment
author

July was so brutal Ben, I try so hard to always retain a positive attitude to even the harshest of developments but admit, with heavy heart, July beat me, not only hands down but body flattened. I feel as though I've been steam rollered!

Forward march though, I must learn faster that life doesn't always follow the roads we choose and because of our mistreatment of her planet, Mother Nature even less so.

If only we, the people who care and we are gathering force, could all be each given and held responsible for a small part of this beautiful earth perhaps those who are blind to the necessities of good caretaking would pay more attention, a sort of 'keeping up with the Jones's'?

Thank you for your always kind and thoughtful words - have a great weekend.

PS My daughter just subscribed to Catch and Release after listening to the first chapter f Departures, she loved it!

Expand full comment

I hope you’re able to relax and put some of the burden down that it’s clear you’re carrying. Thanks for referring Departures to your daughter. It will be interesting to see what younger readers think. My own kids never read my stuff!

Expand full comment
Aug 2Liked by Susie Mawhinney

Susie, you squeeze my heart with every phrase and make me want to throw my body down on good earth and protect her every inch of being.

Expectations sure have their way with us, even when we’re unaware of even having such expectations. Mine were blown too, have been laid up for 17 days now with covid. Thought I was better and then relapsed, the second time my husband fell with me so it’s been quite a few strange weeks of watching summer pass us by from blankets and sofa. Thank heavens for Substack because the days unspent wandering the woods and tending the property have been inside Substack worlds, and those can feel quite bright and enlivening.

Your son! That image is so very precious. And feeling you near, doing your 10,000 steps together, what a sweet glimpse into your mothering. I will remember this forever.

Expand full comment
author

I am so sorry you've been laid low with the dreaded Covid, you and your husband... we too had a week of high fever and listlessness, aches and pains everywhere which simply wouldn't shift a couple of months ago. I'm not sure we will ever be wholly rid of this wretched virus. Yet another curse upon our beloved planet out of our control but to be taken on board as if it were normal!

I send you healing hugs across the ether and hope that by the time they reach you, perhaps you will no longer have need.

My heart too is squeezed daily, the changes I have seen in the twenty years Ive been here are too numerous to count, the hill too changed - almost - to reconcile. But my love for this small mountain of wildness will never diminish, I will do all in my power to protect at least this, my tiny corner of planet earth. Losing chirrupy insects though, that just breaks me, and still I cannot find the reason, except perhaps unseasonably cold weather? I pray that is all and they will return next year - summer shouldn't be silent...

My son... how deeply I love him, his lolloping speedy gait, his teenage enthusiasm, his enviable mane of golden locks, his chatter and music while we walk - it feels too good to be true that he actually enjoys our evening walks, I too will guard with my life these memories - I am perhaps not the best mother but I have been gifted the best son.

Always a huge thank you for your thoughtful replies dear Kimberly - I send you love xx

Expand full comment

Feeling those healing hugs dear Susie, and wanting to believe alongside you that those summer sounds will return. Just seeing your son’s free-spirit on the hill makes me optimistic that the future is in good hands. Cherishing your words and depth of sensitivity, always. ❤️

Expand full comment

Damn those expectations, as the Buddha once remarked.

Nothing worse than seeing yourself at some future date, doing something, anything, only to compare the eventual brutal reality to those imaginings. So hard to stop imagining though!

Thanks for another excellent walk and the reminder that we diverse individuals are all feeling and experiencing very similar emotions to be these strange times.

Expand full comment
author

Damn them indeed! But I am learning, albeit slowly to cast expectation aside, to just be, to take the days as they come and deal with the consequences accordingly... August hopefully will be a calmer month, so far so good! ;-)

I hesitate to think of a future on this hill Jonathan, already, during the twenty years we have been here the changes are vast, visible wounds to both flora and fauna, in another twenty if we continue along the same vein, it will be unrecognisable. The thought is heartbreaking.

We kindred souls are too few, we are gathering in force but not fast enough!

Humble thanks as always for kind and thoughtful words - I wish you an easy slide into weekend calm.

Expand full comment
Aug 1Liked by Susie Mawhinney

How can we live so far apart, across an ocean, and have the same weather pattern?

Yes, otherworldly. The ugly face of climate change . As we both mentioned recently, I could have quoted the whole thing, this time, it pertains to your words.

I read ‘Dear July’. On my second time around, I was looking for my favorite to highlight. I would finish a paragraph and say to myself, oh yes, how stunning, this is the one . Then I would read the next line, and another exclamation for your gorgeous writing would escape my lips.

I have attached an article from our local online ‘paper’ in VT. ( If you choose to read it, I apologize for the adds). Our seasonal home is only 1/2 hour from the town in the article. We received only about 1” of rain. It was as if the storm clouds parted in a swath about 10 miles wide , that buffered our lake and home from damage. Just like their last catastrophic rains, our area remained mostly dry. Mother Nature, seemingly random in her choosing. Then again…

May August be kind, courteous and wonderful.

(PS~ Yes, I’m mentioning the hair. Your son has a beautiful mane. You don’t have to tell him he received a compliment long distance. Coincidentally, my husband’s hair was the same length when I met him just out of high school !).

https://vtdigger.org/2024/07/30/a-much-more-intense-version-st-johnsbury-residents-respond-to-2nd-flood-in-a-month/

Expand full comment
author

I spoke to a friend last n night in BC for the first time in a month, she too has been suffering, not so much from heavy rainfall but unsupportable heat, for four days they didn’t leave the house!

These extreme weather systems are becoming changes we need to address and sadly, I fear, far more quickly than anticipated. They are a worldwide phenomenon, ignored by those that can make a difference and devastating those that can’t.

I read the article you sent, thank goodness your own home was untouched Lor, Mother Nature seems very random in her locations but she is far cleverer than we are, I am certain she has a highly strategic plan!

The tragic consequences of so much rain are repeated here, we too have roads washed away - since May, still not repaired because they are country lanes and little used. There are aged oaks lying broken and torn by the side of the roads, great gulleys have been forged into the hill by constant unaccustomed running water, on one part of the river at the bottom of the valley the river now has an oxbow where there was never one before. This weather is changing the shape of everything and eventually we will have to accept, too, a change of life as we know it…

I better stop there, I could write all day on this topic that should be foremost in everyones thoughts but isn’t… we are too few that care enough.

I send you calm thoughts on a, so far, calm day. x

Expand full comment
Aug 1Liked by Susie Mawhinney

You've done it again, as you do every time...let's hope for a kinder August.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks so much Betty, what a horror of a month July turned out to be, it was quite a task trying to add a little levity! Now for some time catching up here there and everywhere that has been set on the back burner through almost a month of no WiFi, its going to take a while! X

Expand full comment
Aug 1Liked by Susie Mawhinney

My Oh My your photos and videos are perfect expressions of your written words. The world is changing my dearest Susie, not in a million years could I have imagined the magnitude. So much loss due to changing seasons, heat and wildfires... Jasper breaks my heart. Our Old World is gone, the past are now sweet memories. Yet, we survive, we must and be willing to make the changes required to preserve our community, country and world. Always in my prayers, heart and light.

Expand full comment
author

Thank you sweetie, I wish I could stand in denial of your words, I wish I could fins some tiny pocket of hope that would negate the obvious. It took me several days to understand why my hill was so silent, and when I realised I felt bereft, summer without crickets and the flit of butterflies catching our eyes is a sad place… but somehow makes me love it even more, makes me want to protect it with every part of me. An impossibility given outside forces at work that I have no control of but I will never stop trying! love and light sweet soul xxx

Expand full comment

We are far to your north in sea-girt Britain, and it has been mostly a strange and grey summer. This year we too it seems have way fewer swallows and martens, butterflies, along with a paucity of all the species of wild bees and wasps, fewer than I can remember It has given our 2 acres of refugia, small orchards and habitat pause and unease, an emptiness the waiting trees and vegetation seem to feel. And now the suburban garden 'butterfly bushes, the buddleia are empty, even in southern Britain I'm told. Up here there appear to be none on the flowers even on recent sunnier days. Come September maybe we will have better report, perhaps a gathering on the michaelmas daisies. We can try prepare better for next year and hope they will come.

PS. Bob Dylan is so very long ago for me, but that is an amazing verse. We neglect him I guess.

Expand full comment